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      Britney Spears Loses Visitation Rights For Both Kids

      Britney Spears has now lost the visitation rights to both of her kids after Commissioner Gordon (shouldn’t he be summoning Batman instead?) deemed her to have defied the court orders placed on her when she first lost custody of her aforementioned kids. What’s she going to lose next, her marbles? Or has she already done that! I’m looking back and seeing a shaved head, nah, she was completely sane that time.

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      Mel B and Eddie Murphy

      The Mel B and Eddie Murphy saga continues as a court date has now been set to decide how much child maintenance he must pay Mel for their daughter, Angel Iris Murphy Brown. Murphy has been in denial over the parentage of the child since their break up in December 2006, and wanted a blood test to prove who fathered the baby. He should have been a guest on the Ricki Lake show, they do more DNA tests than your local forensics lab.

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      Paul McCartney and Heather Mills in £60m Divorce Settlement

      Paul McCartney and Heather Mills were in court again today over their £60 million ($130m) ‘money for silence’ divorce settlement. Apparently fed up of the whole situation, Macca wants a deal to be made where the settlement will act as “silencing money” for Mills so she’ll keep her mouth shut about their marriage and subsequent divorce.

      Mills is already planning to publicise her side of the story, no doubt playing on how badly she was treated by Macca, who is said to be worth over £825 million ($1.7 billion). Imagine the hardships she must have endured in such a shallow lap of luxury as his.

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      Michelle Rodriguez goes to Jail

      Axed Lost actress Michelle Rodriguez was sentenced to one hundred and eighty days in prison, without early release, for breaking probation on her previous DUI and hit and run convictions. Rodriguez admitted that she’d skipped out on her community service orders and is obviously such a booze hound that she couldn’t stop herself from getting drunk multiple times while wearing a monitoring bracelet for the ninety day period dictated by her probation order. Shame on you!

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      Britney Spears Drives Without License

      Britney Spears has lost the custody of her children in an unexpected turn today. The one time pop icon has been dubbed an unfit mother by L.A. Judge Scott Gordon. The father of her children, Kevin Federline, had his lawyer (Kaplan) at hand to convince the judge of exactly how unfit Britney is as a mother. He couldn’t, of course, see for himself as she’s been in the papers for weeks over the slightest piece of gossip.

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